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Post by santerio on Sept 8, 2015 16:09:04 GMT -8
Here I am again. This is my second post. I think I'm getting the hang of things.Disclaimer: I'm country so get ready for a lot of apostrophes! Society today has made it a crime to put money as one of the things that a female looks for in a mate. Think about it. If you say, "he better have money" you will get labeled a gold digger or a dependent woman quickly. This is why when you ask most females what they look for in a significant other they will say everything other than money. "They got to be truthful, loyal, dependable,blah,blah,blah..."but what are most marriages ending today because of.....money!Lets not front. It matters. So ladies specifically I just want to tell you as a young man how you can spot a dude with no money in 2015 since everybody is putting on for social media it has become extremely hard to tell who pockets are actually as deep as their pictures show them to be. Here's two quick questions you can ask.
1) Do you have car insurance? Yep. Car insurance. A simple question can tell you a lot about a person. Think about it for a sec. If a man has car insurance, he has to have a steady income to pay it(they will cancel your policy REAL QUICK want they?)He also knows how to manage his money because most African Americans put car insurance last on their list since it is a preparation for the future(black people don't prepare for the future.We are a "now" type of people.)If a dude got car insurance he values his things, he has money, and he also probably doesn't have a lot of tickets. So you won't have to buy a book of stamps once you meet a dude with car insurance. He probably follows the laws better than most . Yes, car insurance tells a lot. The type of car insurance and how long he has had it can tell you how deep his pockets his. If he says, "I have Liberty Mutual for about five plus years. I've been paying on it every since I was in high school."Don't be afraid to bend over and pick up a peace of paper.You gotta hook that! Also car insurance shows commitment.If he can commit to something he is not seeing results in such as car insurance, he can easily commit to you. Yeah Car Insurance will tell you a lot. I know right. Car insurance!! Let all you black home girls know and watch how you can separate who's worth it and who's not at amazing rate.
2) Job Security? The problem with black women I notice is that y'all always ask the wrong questions. "You got a job?"" Do you work?" Oh that's nice!" Then you go and brag to your lil girlfriends about how he work at the bank or at the factory and got two jobs blah blah. Yeah that's y'all problem. Don't listen to the media. Yes, unemployment is high but anybody can get a job. Anybody! Especially when everybody cousin and auntie is a manager! The question is CAN YOU KEEP A JOB. You know how job application asked "How many jobs have you held in the last year?". Asked that question!Yes, ask it! Because yeah he got a job at the factory but he just got that job two weeks ago and that's his eighth gig OF THE YEAR. Man got more w-2s coming in January than a self employed stripper. I AIN'T LYING! If he has one job for many years guess what that shows you? Stability and obedience. Not only is his financial stable but he obviously is able to commit to things long term.( Most men I know with the same job for many years are in long term relationships or marriages) Isn't that what women want right? Long term commitments. Teenagers change jobs every day or a person who is confused about their present but a confused man is nothing but another child. Black women don't have time to raise an Extra kid. Ask about job history in the last year. Again you would surprise how many dudes you will be saved from females. JOB HISTORY IN THE LAST YEAR. If he quit a job over something petty what happens when you try to manage the relationship? QUIT!
Wanna hear more? I have a unique way of breaking things down don't I? I know.- See the charger post. I have some more ways but this post is already to long.Also, do you think society has made it a crime for women to mention money as something that is important in a relationship? Even as a man I think so. Lemme know what y'all think? Lemme know if you want me to post some more weird but accurate ways you can figure a person out also. One love.
If a man can commit to a job or something that doesn't yield immediate results such as car insurance.He can commit to you!
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ShyaDee
Female
Posts: 50
Relationship: Single Searching
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Post by ShyaDee on Sept 8, 2015 16:48:23 GMT -8
Yesssssss post more things. I'm loving your post.
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Post by Professor O on Sept 9, 2015 8:37:32 GMT -8
Although I'm taken aback....damn near blown away by this topic, Ill interject. How to spot someone with money. First, have your own. If you do, you are probably in circles where folks reside with money. Second, if a guy is too worried about his car, his rims and stereo and too many material things, he doesn't have squat and wont until he gets his priorities in life together, even if he has a few bucks on him right now. A man with money is secure in himself and doesn't need to impress folks outwardly. That's what immature folks do, and they go broke trying to do it. Look at a mans shoes. Broke folks will get a new outfit but wont buy shoes to coordinate. Does he wear Jordans or does he wear a pair of grown man shoes? Jordans say, I'm trying to prove that I am cool, socially with it, and Ill go broke trying to prove that. A pair of professional shoes says that you are professional, not worried about who thinks what, as you are a leader and not a follower. Check his nails and grooming. A man that spends extra money on grooming has the extra to spend. Check his nails. Do they need to be cleaned though he is wearing new clothes? That means he is fronting. The money is in the details. If a person is spending a lot to show you how much he has, that is the sign of a person that cant keep a quarter, because he wants you to know that he had a quarter. Get a person that dresses sensibly, and can move in and out of different settings with ease and is comfortable in his skin. Get a person that doesn't wear tennis shoes every day, or try to wear the latest trend. Find a classic man that doesn't follow the lead of every social trend, but is a trend setter. That is a person with money and more than that, a person with character and values.
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Post by santerio on Sept 9, 2015 14:22:15 GMT -8
Professor O, you were right on point with all those suggestion. Let me explain my point for people wondering about this post. I made this post as a young man who attends a pwi out of state but still has friends who are in the inner city. When I talk to my friends that are girls, a lot of them are single moms with not even a pot to piss in. I don't make post for people who have their lives together. I also will never make a post on what we "want" society to be. I make posts on what society is. No post will ever be watered down. The only thing watered over here is the grass baby. If you hear an argument between a black couple today, its either about cheating or money. I'm killing two birds with one stone. This post is for women, on their first meeting, to see if a man is capable of commitment and isn't a deadbeat. I have met some girls who go coo-coo for cocoa puffs on their first meeting then they are used and delusional. I've seen girls give dudes their number because he had on a fly outfit. She automatically assumed he had money(This is real life. This is our generation.))She didn't know that the outfit was his Fourth of July outfit and it was just back in rotation. (You can wear your stars and stripes shirt on the Fourth, Veteran's Day, and Memorial! Maybe even Labor Day.) Again, this post is just to help some women become a little more decisive and when I have a daughter I will teach her the same principles. We tend to teach girls to not get tricked by men's game."Don't fall for it." That yields barely any results. Lets teach our daughters and sisters how to trick the trickster at his own game so she won't be looking stupid and helpless.
"A man that spends extra money on grooming has the extra to spend. Check his nails. Do they need to be cleaned though he is wearing new clothes? That means he is fronting. The money is in the details. " --- -------BTW excellent point Professor. I will add this to my list. I actually share this list with young women all the time. I see them become smarter and more independent when they start paying attention.
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thickyfitt01
Female
Posts: 59
Relationship: Single Not Looking
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Post by thickyfitt01 on Sept 9, 2015 17:05:13 GMT -8
Because yeah he got a job at the factory but he just got that job two weeks ago and that's his eighth gig OF THE YEAR. Man got more w-2s coming in January than a self employed stripper. I AIN'T LYING! [/b][/font] [/quote] This made me holler so loud! LMAO scared my nephew out of his sleep, but this is all true! santerio keep posting. A different perspective on things is always nice!
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Post by akanundrum on Sept 10, 2015 11:04:50 GMT -8
Because yeah he got a job at the factory but he just got that job two weeks ago and that's his eighth gig OF THE YEAR. Man got more w-2s coming in January than a self employed stripper. I AIN'T LYING! [/b][/font] [/quote] This made me holler so loud! LMAO scared my nephew out of his sleep, but this is all true! santerio keep posting. A different perspective on things is always nice![/quote] ROOOOFFLLLMMMAAOOOOO!
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Post by santerio on Sept 10, 2015 15:03:59 GMT -8
Alright here's #3! How does he treat his mom? This should be noted not on the first date but once you guys are starting to get the feel of each other. How he treat his mom is actually how he will treat you. Is she still supporting him? I don't know why women think they are getting a man when he is still being 100% supported by his mom. You getting a boy that is looking for another mom. Talk with his mom before you guys gets serious. See what kind of parent she is. Is she truthful? If so, let the questions fly. LET THEM FLY. She will tell you everything straight up, "Look. Listen little girl. Donny ain't nothing and ain't gon be nothing cause his daddy wasn't nothing!" .......And don't act like you ain't hear her say nothing like 45 times. YOU HEARD IT! She will even tell you about the other girls. How did she describe them? This tell a lot about the type of woman you are. Birds of a feather. A man will only pick somebody in his range. You and the other girls got a couple of things in common. Also, it is important to see what she says about them because you better believe she will say the same things about you. If she is calling all of them whores, then get READY TO BE A WHORE ALSO. If his mom give a bad report, leave ol dude alone. I notice a lot of women try to prove his mama wrong. You'll stay with him, help him find a job, get him some nice clothes...all the works. That is a big mistake! You are not the clean up woman that Betty Wright was talking about. Besides, you don't think his mom has tried all that? She already don't like you so she will let you learn on your own. If she gives you a bad report on him, you got a grace period of two and a half weeks then you will see what she was talking about. Picture this, you pick him up on payday and he is happier than a whistle because he got a paycheck. You take him to his mama's house to show her how you "made him better." You don't ask for a penny of the paycheck because that's his first legal paycheck since his high school senior year. (BTW, he's Jefferson High Class of 1982.Keep up.) His mom is just smirking at you waiting for the moment. He takes the paycheck and blows it all on his friend. He also don't show up to work on Monday and loses his job. Now he sitting at your house waiting on your car. Again, mama knows him better than you! On the other hand, If yall hanging out and he says "Oh, I'm going to take my mom out for lunch today." Ask if it is for an anniversary or birthday. If he says "No, I just take her out once a month to spend time with her." Hook him. He knows how to treat a lady he cares for, he knows how to make time, and he knows how to be in the presence of a woman he respects. If this is something he does every month, he also has order about him. Don't confuse him calling his mother or posting a pics of her saying" she is my world"as proof that his cares for her. Everybody does that. It's the extra stuff. Lastly, a lot of females think if they meet the mother, then they are somebody important. Maybe in the 1990s or 80s, but not in 2015! Everybody meets the parents now. His mama has seen so many stank girls on the sofa, she put the plastic back on it. And don't fall for him being "nice" to her while your around either. We all do that. Again, its the extra things that he does with her. Is he overprotective of his single mother? Get ready for him to be overprotective of you. Get ready for him to try to be in control without putting food on the table. Again, his mother is a direct mirror of how he will treat you. Let me know what yall think about #3. TALK TO ME!
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thickyfitt01
Female
Posts: 59
Relationship: Single Not Looking
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Post by thickyfitt01 on Sept 10, 2015 15:44:53 GMT -8
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thickyfitt01
Female
Posts: 59
Relationship: Single Not Looking
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Post by thickyfitt01 on Sept 10, 2015 15:53:05 GMT -8
santerio I liked number 3. I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where I wanted to prove a guy's mom wrong, but I have seebn that dynamic in the relationship of others. I always say that anyone can do the big stuff (buying expensive gifts, declaring their love for you on social media, and etc), but only someone who truly cares about you will do the little stuff as well. It's all in the details and you're giving me a few more to pay attention to lol. :-)
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Post by santerio on Sept 11, 2015 7:26:54 GMT -8
thickyfitt01 It is seen a lot. Even look at the movie Baby Boy. The mom will always tell you how it is. Some women just see what they want.
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Post by santerio on Sept 15, 2015 14:13:10 GMT -8
Been working and schoolin but I'm back. This website is really starting to pop. Very dope. Here's #4. Who does he hang out with? Yes, Jimbo, John, Nate, and Lucifer all matter in y'all relationship. You can tell a lot about a person by who they hang with. If all his friends ain't got a job, but he does, don't fall for the trick. Remember number two! How long has he had that job. If they ain't got a job, he won't have one for long and if he has one, you ain't getting much of the cut. Friends without jobs will show up on a payday and take all the children's birthday money. They will know when his payday is ladies better than you will know it! Every two weeks you'll be sitting there getting madder and madder as they fill up your driveway and have you parking on the curve. Lazy friends are a no go. Even if he is good dude. If they cannot grow, he will refuse to grow too. Also, his friends will tell you what he enjoys doing in his spare time. Do they just sit around and gamble all day? Well that's where you can expect him a majority of the time with a majority of his/y'all money. Are they always in the streets? He will be in the streets too. Without asking him, be able you tell whether he really cares for them?(really really cares) If he really does , you will spend a majority of the relationship competing for time with them. And since lazy friends don't have jobs and open availability, you will be lose 8/10 of the time. And never say anything about them, because he will never listen. Society has trained into men's brain the idealism of " I love my bros. One hunnit" and yet "We don't love these female." Has anyone else notice how dudes will say they love they homeboys easily, but will not say they love a female. Do me a favor, go on social media and check it out. Most of these young dudes are constanly bashing females, yet steady loving their dogs. Backwards. Again, today's society.So when you come with ways to make him stop hanging with them or make him notice that they are using him, you will lose every time. Remember that Eyrkah Badu song "Tyrone." This day in age is full of Tyrones because "homie love" is more brag-gable than a man loving a female. His friends do matter...a lot. You will be surprised to know that girls don't really listen to other girls about their boyfriends as much as a dude listen to other dudes about their girlfriends. Especially, weak insecure dudes. If his homie is dogging you out, he will believe every word his says . You will not beat the the homies if you want commitment and a stress free relationship so figure it out early. Any man with thousands of friends is getting invites to 1000s of events and has a 1000 people in his face. Don't associate popularity as being good. I hear girls brag all that time, "Chile, everybody know him.We went out the other night and he just knew everybody and they complimented me..blah.blah" Yeah everybody know him and everybody want a piece of something and everybody trying to get his attention eventually from you! Again, find out who he hangs around. It says a lot about him, where he came from, how much time he has available, and where he will take y'all relationship. If all his friends are broke and single dudes who bash women online, don't expect him to be a provider or readily commit to you, simple. A lot of relationship are ending now because of the man's friends, no longer the female friends being petty. Homeboys in 2015 are petty and bitter!
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Post by Yasssss!!!!! on Sept 16, 2015 9:20:38 GMT -8
Just a guest being noisy. You have a great way of explaining things. I read this to my co-workers at lunch and they enjoy hearing the new posts. We literally have discussions about what you post. We're always looking forward to more. The roles of friends have definitely switched between males and females. Keep the posts coming.
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Post by akanundrum on Sept 16, 2015 11:09:23 GMT -8
Just a guest being noisy. You have a great way of explaining things. I read this to my co-workers at lunch and they enjoy hearing the new posts. We literally have discussions about what you post. We're always looking forward to more. The roles of friends have definitely switched between males and females. Keep the posts coming. YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!
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Post by santerio on Sept 16, 2015 17:37:04 GMT -8
Lol thanks! You don't have to be nosey either lol. The site is free go ahead and join if y'all looking (all y'all lunch buddies) I joined less than two weeks ago without even knowing the creator personally. I just liked the fact that we can discuss things in the black community without a character limit. Its pretty dope. Thanks again for the comment. I'll post more tomorrow. I want to see y'all comment more though. Makes it more entertaining.
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Post by sunshine on Sept 18, 2015 19:58:44 GMT -8
Wow, I was thinking of a particular person as I was reading this and you're right...that is a sure fire way to detect if a man has money. Now how does a woman detect if a man is a man is truly knowledgeable about who he is and his history or just blowing smoke is an entirely different beast to tackle. Having a presence on social media, anyone can figure out how they need to approach you and thus the b.s. & fakeness begins all just to conquer a woman & vice versa.
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