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Post by awakewhileusleep on Sept 18, 2015 16:59:01 GMT -8
This just happened...
i would like to know what some of you other fathers would have said
because i was at a loss for words..
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Post by akanundrum on Sept 18, 2015 18:33:07 GMT -8
This just happened...
i would like to know what some of you other fathers would have said
because i was at a loss for words..
WOW!!! I just had this conversation!!!! OMG! First it was our boys, now our girls. I wouldn't shame her, I would redirect her focus to the MANY examples of the ones who are. I would help her understand the complexities of internalized racism...how we've accepted our negative images as truth. How real programming is! I got more to say but I need you to call me about something else ASAP!! |
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Post by rayjefury on Sept 30, 2015 10:32:06 GMT -8
I would use "personalization / familiarization". I would ask her, was I a black man and did I live up to the stereotypes. I find (with both men and women) it's easy to attack an faceless amorphous collective (i.e. women or men) but it's much harder to apply those stereotypes when it's attached to a person with whom we relate and identify.
Of course if she was like, "Daddy you the main one tho"... LOL, then the problem might be closer to home than first suspected.
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Post by awakewhileusleep on Oct 4, 2015 11:00:30 GMT -8
rayjefury.. funny thing is, this isnt the first time shes said this.. it was said jokingly in the past but now it seems she is becoming more serious about this decision. thats true people always get judged from a distance so to speak, but i hate to say this but it kinda puts me at peace that she knows better. i'd like to think im not against interracial dating, but i haven't crossed that bridge before.. feelin torn
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jshabazz18
Male
Posts: 13 
Relationship: Single Searching
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Post by jshabazz18 on Nov 12, 2015 9:06:15 GMT -8
awakewhileusleep The solution is never interracial dating . You are a man in your community many of these young men need guidance at the end of the day there are white boys who act just like black ones . Your daughter will end up dating people she is around so the best thing to do is get together with other fathers and begin to craft a different environment it took Malcolm and his Sharp dressing to get me to stop sagging my pants forever . It really does take a village to raise a child and many of those young black boys need a positive male figures to show them what's right . If you can change their thinking Now than they will grow up to be better adults |
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Post by king1jo on Nov 14, 2015 23:39:15 GMT -8
If she's intelligent enough to understand that their should be a standard when dating...then you should be able to sit her down and show her why she can't give up on her own race because of what she thinks she sees on the surface. Obviously their are people who fit the stereotype in every race, but we as black people actually believe what they say about us. Its actually sad. But I'm sure if she wanted to find a black guy her type she could....so I hope she will stay open minded! Sometimes I struggle with the same problem. A lot of black females do things I see as inappropriate; but so does every other race. I know their is a black queen out there for me and I won't settle for anything less.
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