callmemansa83
Male
~Thuglife~
Posts: 171 
Relationship: Single Not Looking
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Post by callmemansa83 on Oct 3, 2015 14:23:39 GMT -8
I feel like every child should have a healthy fear of their parents...
I think of the old saying "I gave you life and I can take it away"...
My son, like me when I was his age, is very respectful, well behaved and all that good stuff...
I don't feel like your child having a healthy fear of you is wrong, but few of my family members, while acknowledging my son has
never really had any behavior problems and is developing into a great you man, always bring up the fact that "He is scared of you"...
I feel like that is the way it should be... At the same time please take note I keep saying HEALTHY fear...
My son got spankings from the time he was born til about 5-6 when they slowed down...
I think i stopped all together for the most part at the age of 7 (he turned 9 a month ago)...
Just curious to your opinions...
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Post by dubse7en on Oct 4, 2015 15:36:24 GMT -8
I don't have any children, but I definitely don't want my child(ren) to fear me.
I want them to love, respect, and trust that I've got their back. I need them to be able to seek me for problems and not be worried or fearful of my reaction. I want them to have control over their behaviors through their own conscious, not because they fear me. I do not plan to spank or use any form of corporal punishment for discipline.
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Post by amirinyahya on Oct 5, 2015 9:09:03 GMT -8
We have three and they're not terrified of us but they know not to play. So yes, your child should fear you... Fear in the order of respect not terror.
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callmemansa83
Male
~Thuglife~
Posts: 171
Relationship: Single Not Looking
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Post by callmemansa83 on Oct 5, 2015 11:38:42 GMT -8
Respect both your opinions dubse7en amirinyahya
I'm assuming you never got spankings dubse7en ?
When my son was younger he would hug me immediately after getting a spanking...
He still would do it as he grew up it just wouldn't be immediately after...
When I say fear I don't mean FEAR fear... but like @ariminyahya stated...
My son know's not to play with me...
I feel it is my responsibility to make sure our children are prepared for the world...
All while the world consistently destroys their physical and mental state...
I feel a little roughness is necessary... The world will give it to them regardless...
He will get it with love and affection from me first... Like I said tho I respect your views...
If you even find your self attracted to me don't have any children with me lol... 
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Post by dubse7en on Oct 5, 2015 12:13:07 GMT -8
callmemansa83 lol actually I received spankings...or rather the southern term "whippings". The "go cut your own switch" type of discipline. We also had corporal punishment in school and teachers were allowed to paddle us for misbehavior. It's just that now since I'm older and working with juveniles/youth development...I've been exposed to information that has changed my mind.
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callmemansa83
Male
~Thuglife~
Posts: 171
Relationship: Single Not Looking
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Post by callmemansa83 on Oct 5, 2015 12:23:41 GMT -8
It's just that now since I'm older and working with juveniles/youth development...I've been exposed to information that has changed my mind.
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Post by dubse7en on Oct 5, 2015 12:44:02 GMT -8
Well...when you examine spankings...it's something that is not associated with traditional African culture. It's something we were taught by the British. Although it may appear to work, no one can be certain of the psychological and mental effect it has on children. We also know that it's not really that effective as the individuals who are considered socially deviant also received their share of spankings. In black American society, we take a more controlling role over our children where In many traditional African cultures, children have an important role in the social dynamics. They make decisions that affect the entire community. (I feel like I'm about to write an essay.) Check out "The Conscious Parent" by Dr. Shefali Tsabary it explains child discipline from a mindfulness view. But ultimately I've learned that there are other options...and I'm eager to change those habits that I feel are not cohesive with our nature. callmemansa83 |
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callmemansa83
Male
~Thuglife~
Posts: 171
Relationship: Single Not Looking
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Post by callmemansa83 on Oct 5, 2015 13:02:21 GMT -8
Well...when you examine spankings...it's something that is not associated with traditional African culture. It's something we were taught by the British. Although it may appear to work, no one can be certain of the psychological and mental effect it has on children. We also know that it's not really that effective as the individuals who are considered socially deviant also received their share of spankings. In black American society, we take a more controlling role over our children where In many traditional African cultures, children have an important role in the social dynamics. They make decisions that affect the entire community.
Like you stated earlier, you got spankings... I got spankings... We are doing ok... Well I'm on probations, but im sure your life can support my point better...
All the scrutiny being put on the way we raise our kids these last couple generations has produced the more disrespectful, undereducated, overmedicated generations we have every experience...
Our youth are out of control (which isn't all bad) but at the same time they don't respect themselves or each other... A lot don't even respect their parents...
I appreciate the fact that I was whooped as a child, I'm sure if you really sat and thought about it you would be too...
Now if you just experienced abuse that is different... My mom hit me a few times with a hockey sticc and I didnt appreciate that at all...
I brought it on myself tho...
Power to you queen...
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Post by dubse7en on Oct 5, 2015 13:08:50 GMT -8
@callmemansa I can't say whether I appreciate them or not lol...but I do know that I have a brother, 12 years younger, who was never spanked. He is 16 and in college and also seems to be doing well...so maybe it's more so the guidance than the discipline. But I also grew up in the projects and he didn't so it's a lot of factors that play a role...
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Post by justpeachy on Oct 9, 2015 18:54:41 GMT -8
Yes they should. Not just in the literal sense but they should know hat there are repercussions behind their inappropriate actions. When they know that you may just yell,scream or lecture and not be made to feel the seriousness of it, you're taken less seriously.
Some kids won't need as much or any spankings but for those that try you or like to push their limits, should know that it's definitely an available option.
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