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Post by InTwoMinds on Aug 24, 2016 16:36:24 GMT -8
Hi everyone. I am having some trouble in my relationship. It is so much more complicated and detailed than I can write in this post but I'm hoping your answers can help me make a decision. I have been wanting to leave my relationship for a long time.
I have an inkling that he is not always loyal but I have no proof. Many incidents over the years have made me think he cheats but I have had no evidence eg. Never seen texts on his phone or seen him with someone else.
I have suspicions; years worth of them! They come from him lying to me, his social media activity, his response to interested women when I am around, secrecy with his phone etc etc (I could go on!)
My question is, do you think suspicions are enough reason to leave or would you want an admission / to catch him / her with someone else before you leave?
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Post by Nei on Aug 26, 2016 10:24:32 GMT -8
Trust is a major thing in any relationship. With no trust there is no peace. You will always suspectvsomething is goingbon even if it isn't. That is not a healthy way to live, and in the end you two will only resent each other. It may be best to walk away.
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Post by ju5tincredible on Aug 28, 2016 7:53:50 GMT -8
I concur with Nei on this. Even as a man, I can tell you that there is not always closure in confirmation. Your intuition is telling you something, actions are confirming those feelings (or at least not absolving them from your mind), so even if nothing concrete is ever found, the vibes are off and the movements being made will force you to second guess your instincts. You will then be stuck always second guessing your natural protection detector that is God given for discernment. If nothing was happening, the movements wouldn't make you feel that way. Because, isn't that what's really important?
Be straightforward and ask direct questions. Let the party know what your feelings are. Then trust your gut as you make your decision. If the vibes continue and the behavior doesn't seem to take you feelings or concerns into consideration, I think you'll have your answer. Good luck, and God bless.
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Post by InTwoMinds on Sept 3, 2016 16:44:20 GMT -8
Trust is a major thing in any relationship. With no trust there is no peace. You will always suspectvsomething is goingbon even if it isn't. That is not a healthy way to live, and in the end you two will only resent each other. It may be best to walk away. Thank you. There is already a lot of resentment in the relationship from my side and it is toxic for us. I feel like the mistrust and hurt has gone too far to be able to fix now. Thanks again for your advice  |
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Post by InTwoMinds on Sept 3, 2016 16:48:02 GMT -8
I concur with Nei on this. Even as a man, I can tell you that there is not always closure in confirmation. Your intuition is telling you something, actions are confirming those feelings (or at least not absolving them from your mind), so even if nothing concrete is ever found, the vibes are off and the movements being made will force you to second guess your instincts. You will then be stuck always second guessing your natural protection detector that is God given for discernment. If nothing was happening, the movements wouldn't make you feel that way. Because, isn't that what's really important? Be straightforward and ask direct questions. Let the party know what your feelings are. Then trust your gut as you make your decision. If the vibes continue and the behavior doesn't seem to take you feelings or concerns into consideration, I think you'll have your answer. Good luck, and God bless. Thank you for this. I think the lack of trust is always going to take a toll on us. Just one last question for you, so I can get a male perspective; does a man's social media profiles say a lot about his loyalty, if his woman is never featured on his pages? Is it a way of him keeping the DM's coming in or does it not mean anything? |
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Post by ju5tincredible on Sept 3, 2016 17:14:08 GMT -8
Well, this question has a simple, but delicate answer. I have been one to practice not putting alot of my business out there for mass consumption. Self preservation is good for Our Nation. So, a skin and bones profile with little activity is not a sign of infidelity. However, if someone posts every meal, every selfie, every movement of their day, and their significant other is not a part of their "social media happy moments", then who is? Is this person flexing for the camera to gain attention, maintain a bravado, or living in a land of make believe? All of those things would be negatives in my personal book, but if social media is a common theme in their daily activity but their partner is not, then there is a reason for that. I would say that reason is to stay attractive to an audience so that the potential for something to happen is there.
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Post by InTwoMinds on Sept 6, 2016 12:51:15 GMT -8
Well, this question has a simple, but delicate answer. I have been one to practice not putting alot of my business out there for mass consumption. Self preservation is good for Our Nation. So, a skin and bones profile with little activity is not a sign of infidelity. However, if someone posts every meal, every selfie, every movement of their day, and their significant other is not a part of their "social media happy moments", then who is? Is this person flexing for the camera to gain attention, maintain a bravado, or living in a land of make believe? All of those things would be negatives in my personal book, but if social media is a common theme in their daily activity but their partner is not, then there is a reason for that. I would say that reason is to stay attractive to an audience so that the potential for something to happen is there. Yes he is active on social media and I feature on none of it. Neither does our child (I don't expect photos of our child on there but there is no mention whatsoever of our existence). Even family members of mine have commented that his socials media would make you think he was a single man. I can only assume it is to keep a specific audience interested. Thanks for this. I appreciate your opinions. |
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Post by ju5tincredible on Sept 17, 2016 9:49:13 GMT -8
I pray for you, your family, and your relations. We all deserve stability, reliability, and trust in our relationships. Blessings.
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