|
|
Post by akanundrum on Sept 16, 2015 4:24:08 GMT -8
It's definitely no secret that dating
is NOT what it used to be. If you've been married or in a long term relationship, the thought of dealing with
all the games and issues that single people face can be EXTREMELY disheartening.
What are some of your concerns and issues you've faced
jumping back into the dating pool? |
|
|
|
Post by lexxrey on Sept 16, 2015 7:43:21 GMT -8
Coming out of a marriage I found Mr. Right pretty immediately after. There was a fairy tale effect of coming out of a bad relationship where Mr. Right had everything my ex was lacking. The deeper the new relationship got the more I realized I had to stop looking for someone to "save me" and be my own hero. He damn well could have been Mr. Right but at the time I realized it was way more important to do some work on myself before I invested in working on a new relationship, so I ended it. The challenge I face is making sure I've taken care of me before getting caught up in being swept off my feet. I want to be able to validate myself fully without feeling dependent on a man to do that for me. In the future I want to date for the sake of dating and not to jump right into being wifey since being wifey is exactly what I'm used to.
|
|
kesco
Male
Searching for my muse
Posts: 121 
Relationship: Single Not Looking
|
Post by kesco on Sept 16, 2015 7:51:17 GMT -8
Coming out of marriage, I found myself just not interested in putting forth the time and energy to get to know and trust someone again. Since then I have made plenty of friends, but I admit that I have some trust issues that keeps me from really trying to find a new gf
|
|
|
|
Post by akanundrum on Sept 16, 2015 8:00:47 GMT -8
I don't know how to love "lite" nor am I interested. I was married for 12 years and involved for 4 after that and we lived together for 3. Both times we were friends first, no real courting involved before we were deeply involved. I'm very 0-100 about everything I'm passionate about, including people.
|
|
|
|
Post by ladytee on Sept 16, 2015 12:17:05 GMT -8
Dating has been the most nerve wrecking experience for me...I don't like it...I dont like the starting over...I am used to long term relationships, but after my last boyfriend passed away, dipping into this single pool hasn't been that fun. It could be where I am, but the men I run into are soo immature...they don't want anything real, or with substance. They play too many games, are afraid to love. But it could totally just be me, wanting the substance, that deep bond, without taking the time to build it. Maybe I am being impatient lol...but I am kinda convinced that it is where I am. I think I like old school southern boys tbh...lol
I tried to give a guy a chance that resided in my area, and during our first conversation over the phone he got into a physical fight with someone. I hung up cause all I could hear was scuffling in the background...then he called me back like ten times wanting to explain, so I gave him the opportunity. Maybe he was about to get robbed or something?? But no...he was loitering in a parking lot, and got into with the owners of the business. He told me how they were "gesturing" like they had a gun, and so over the phone he tells me how he has one too, and I hear that click clack noise as he cocks his gun in my ear.... ....I'm done...not interested...I don't know what he was trying to prove, but it wasn't necessary...this has been my experience! I don't like it...
|
|
jshabazz18
Male
Posts: 13
Relationship: Single Searching
|
Post by jshabazz18 on Sept 21, 2015 12:35:19 GMT -8
My Difficuly in dating is being understood and time constraints . Being a conscious person women can't seem to understand my views on things . Me being an entrepreneur, my belief that monogamy is not natural and therefore should not be forced , the fact that to me it makes no sense to stalk with sex if the connection is there and the energy is right . I just want it to be care free . I just want a like mind, with a wet yoni between her thighs , that I'm allowed to taste or enter at any time , I want a creative an artist and a freak , a woman that can make my third eye move and still give me her all in the sheets . I guess dating is this generation isn't for me , unless me and one of these melanin minds meet .
|
|
|
|
Post by assatashakkur on Sept 22, 2015 1:26:40 GMT -8
My difficulty is just trying to get a date!! The brothers I have come across are not looking for an educated woman, but someone with a bunch of kids and uneducated so they can be taken care of. I have no kids so therefore why would I take care of you if you don't have any drive or ambition to do better for yourself?? I've just given up on dating alltogether and I've been single for over 6 1/2 years.
|
|
|
|
Post by ladytee on Sept 23, 2015 6:26:50 GMT -8
assatashakkur I have experienced that same difficulty...I can count how many dates I have had this year on one hand =(. And I don't even have to include my thumb... of those dates 0 have been by guys that didn't know me. They were old flames trying to rekindle the fire. Sometimes I wonder if I come off intimidating or unapproachable because guys don't often make that first move, I mean what else can I do??? I make eye contact, I smile, I show interest...but Im not gonna put my titties on you or anything for you to get the hint! It drives me a little crazy on the inside lol because I like and appreciate when a man can confidently ask me out himself. but instead they will tell their friends to talk to me for them...or say something to one of my friends for me to hit them up? 
|
|
|
|
Post by assatashakkur on Sept 23, 2015 6:42:41 GMT -8
I agree. I know I've been told I look mean and unapproachable lol, BUT if you have a conversation with me you will see that I'm not. I just try to weed out those who claim they are interested verses the ones that actually are and it seems most of the men I come across just want sex and I need more than that.
|
|
