Post by littlebit on Dec 28, 2015 20:54:57 GMT -8
I have been in a committed relationship for going on 4 years now. Just like most relationships, when it's good it's great. But sometimes we reach a point where bad becomes fckng terrible, it has even gotten physical once. I blame myself there because I did through the first punch but it was one time. The main issue is that he has this weird need for attention. When we got together I was still living at home with my parents so I went from there to us getting a place together. I don't really have a life outside of my relationship. I work and I go to school but that's pretty much it. I don't go out and I barely use social media. He on the other hand lives on social media. Every aspect of his life is public except me. He says it's because he doesn't need people in our business but I believe it's because he knows he might lose some of the attention if females knew he was in a relationship. It's like he doesn't deny me but he doesn't mention me either. I've caught him cheating via social media, he never met up with the girl, but I believe their friendship was inappropriate.
We talk about it and he says it's just something to do. He thinks I don't know but he goes through my phone and email. I don't really care because I have nothing to hide. I don't go through his phone because in the beginning of our relationship I did and found exactly what I was looking for. He keeps his phone on silent around me and that bothers me a lot because if someone can't reach me they go through him. The sad thing is I won't get the memo until hours later because he swears his phone is dry but if it's not on silent we argue about the constant notifications.
He's been talking marriage and he even bought me a ring but I know he's not ready. I'm starting to believe that I've become just a convenience to him and it hurts. Like he knows I will take care of home and do what needs to be done for us so he doesn't want to lose the stability he never had, even as a child. So have I become his mother? What I am? Should I let go? I've asked him a million and one times if this is where he wants to be and he says yes. A small part of me doesn't believe him because of his constant need for attention from everyone but me.
