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Post by akanundrum on Aug 22, 2015 10:21:23 GMT -8
 The Talk by - Derrick Jaxn
As Black parents we know that our children face extremely different threats, obstacles and issues than white children. Historically speaking, the savage beatings, removal and deaths of our children has been weaponize so deeply it altered the way we raised out children. We PROACTIVELY beat them into submission and cooperation in order to spare them a much worse beating and to keep them with us.
It goes without saying, there's been an adverse affect to that and I believe many Black Millenials are finding alternative ways to child rearing or often not merely relying on whooping alone. Sadly, with the recent cases of children being murdered by the police, a lot of parents may revisit those old feelings - "I have to beat you before they do...before they kill you."
Have you had "The Talk" with your child and how do you reinforce it?
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Post by Nei on Aug 24, 2015 15:02:09 GMT -8
I feel that we sometimes blur the line between whooping and beating. Between discipline and abuse. My mom whooped us as kids, but that was not her first or only resort. We were punished accordingly, thus resulting in respect for her and her rules rather than fearing her and her punishments.
Beating a person into submission only harms them in the long run.
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Post by justpeachy on Aug 25, 2015 18:15:04 GMT -8
The talk is an ongoing discussion that you have to constantly go back over especially with all the brutality against us.
On the matter of discipline however it's different per child. One of the greatest & hardest quality is finding that proper medium. It is one of us but you may have multiple children & what works with one can be a detriment to another.
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Post by amirinyahya on Aug 30, 2015 15:45:15 GMT -8
We whoop when it's necessary. I definitely believe in developing a child's understanding by talking to them like they have sense (they're really smart even if they can't get it out right all the time)....but we all know that there comes a time when you gotta put it on 'em or they're gonna turn around and put it on you. It's crazy bc we went to some friends' house today and their son was SOOO disobedient (I wanted to whip his ass!)...and they just allowed it! I think it's ALWAYS a bad idea for parents to let a child go so far that they don't respect their authority----becasue the "powers that be" won't give them that chance.
We stick close to the scriptures in that regard BECAUSE it's real. If you don't discipline your child (but you know the cops can possibly KILL him for the slightest sign of disobedience) then that says something about how you really feel about your child.
I had a client yesterday get really upset when she asked my OPINION on her child who keeps breaking their TV sets because she can't get her way...the child is 14. She's scared that if she whips her she'll go to jail. I was amazed because when I was younger I threatened to call the cops on my mom and you know what?! SHE CALLED 'EM!! She called 'em and whipped my ass GOOD when they got there---and offered herself up to be arrested! I wasn't bleeding or bruised but I was good and raw and I never disrespected her again. There was a time when parents loved their children so much that they would go to jail before they saw them acting a fool and getting hurt in the streets. Now it seems parents are more afraid for their own "freedom" than they are for their children's lives. |
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Post by rayjefury on Sept 10, 2015 7:22:01 GMT -8
I will whoop, but I will not beat; and for me the difference is more than semantics. I will instill discipline and respect, but not fear. I will punish in accordance with the infraction, not in accordance with my anger.
Everytime I have ever seen a child beaten it was because the care giver was reacting out of anger and a desire to punish. If I ever feel those things in my heart when I go to discipline my child, I'll just forego it.
I watched a young mom intermittently hit her child in Walmart and it made me angry. She made her point 5 minutes earlier when she first hit the child, and he cried and stopped what he was doing. What purpose does it serve to start hitting him again 5 minutes later when he's not doing what you originally punished him for? You aren't doing that to discipline him, you are doing it because you're mad... and i can't get down with that.
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Post by jayson on Sept 10, 2015 16:33:54 GMT -8
I was never whooped as a child. My grandmother would always sit me down and lecture me. She allowed me to speak and get things off of my chest. She didn't let me walk around with anger in my heart. Once it was all over, I knew whatever I did was wrong and I felt better because she talked me through it. She had patience, she allowed me to have a voice.
Thanks to her, I'm 20 years old, junior in college on a full ride scholarship, I attend church on Sunday's, I'm respectful of all people including police, I obey the law, and I'm mature and responsible.
It didn't take a whooping to get me to act right. It was treating me like a human being with feelings, not an animal that needs to be trained.
When I have my beautiful black children, they will never get a whooping!
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