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Post by chocolatmama on Aug 23, 2015 2:34:17 GMT -8
Patience patience patience!
I remind myself daily, at times hourly, this is needed to keep a marriage strong.
You have chosen this person to be your partner for LIFE. Hard work everyday is the only way to keep unity.
There will always be something that may annoy you. There will always be temptation to distract you. There will always be bad days but remember...
There will always be good days too. There will always be surprises. There will always be companionship.
We are imperfect in our choices at times. Teach him how to honor and respect you with patience.
How do y'all remind yourself to be patient and mindful in your marriage?
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Post by amirinyahya on Aug 24, 2015 14:42:38 GMT -8
meditation and breathing. It's easy to see imperfections in others, especially the spouse! But I remind myself that I'M SOOOO imperfect and he's patient with me so it's only right for me to do the same. It's tough sometimes though but I really found that the more patient and understanding I can be with my own flaws, the more I can understand his.
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Post by Empress Nyrari on Sept 27, 2015 9:53:29 GMT -8
My boyfriend and I have known each other for about 2 years and have been involved for four months. Since day 1 he has always said he only has had eyes for me and when I finally gave him the chance to prove so he has done it. He is a problem solver, works hard and does exactly as he said he would; cherish the ground my children and I walk on although he isn't the biological father of my kids. But you can't tell him that because father bears no step in it lol.
Anyway, he really wants to get married. So do I but I like to be prepared before I do anything. It's without a doubt in my mind that he is the perfect man to become married to. I have never met any man so beautiful or more willing deep within his soul. He is very spiritual attending service every Saturday from 1 pm to 8 pm faithfully even if it is his only off day. We rarely have any arguments or disagreements to the point that his father asked if our relationship is normal because he has never witnessed a couple that doesn't argue.
Ladies, I guess what I am trying to ask is how do you know that you are ready to become married? All of my life this is all I ever wanted. Relationship after relationship I have had men that has done nothing but play with that idea whereas he knows right away what he wants. He is definitely my backbone as well as the best father any child could ask for I'm just nervous and wondering what it was like for you all at this point in your relationship? Respectfully he understands I come with a past and with baggage. Although he has been ready to pay for a ring or atleast put money down on one he has been asking for my permission to do so. He really has been working hard not to do anything that would cause me to feel uncomfortable and with my past everything causes this.
I hope one of you sistahs can help ease my nerves. I've been through a lot and do not plan to bump my head anymore. It really hurts in the end lol!
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Post by amirinyahya on Sept 27, 2015 10:17:19 GMT -8
Peace & Love empress Nyrari Thanks for joining the group! I've been where you are and it is a scary place. We've been through so much with our men, as a whole and indivudually, that it's hard to trust situations that are "too good to be true". My marriage seemed like that in the beginning. I used to ALWAYS ask my husband what did I do to deserve a great relationship? I had "baggage" too and a past. What I can tell you is this - it's important to find value in your bags and your past. Not all bags are bad... You're ready to be a wife when you don't NEED to be a wife. Do you know your purpose as a female as it relates to a male? That's really important to know so that the relationship stays balanced and argument free. Do y'all have a vision for your life together? And does your individual vision for yourself line up with that? Does his? It's possible to have an argument free relationship, queen. I know people think it's a "rare" thing but really when you're building something great you don't have time for the foolishness. It's always best to be prepared before you make a life decision like marriage....because if divorce is an option, you ain't ready! I'm sure that if he's only got eyes for you, and you feel a sincere spirit about him, he'll be willing to wait until you do the inner work to be fully ready. I hope that helped love! Enjoy the space you're in, it's all growth and learning!  |
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Post by Empress Nyrari on Oct 1, 2015 13:58:00 GMT -8
amirinyahyaMy apologies for the late reply. I am learning how to use this site. I love the challenge and how you have to figure things out by trial and error. Sometimes I think we get too use to things being so sugary sweet that we don't allow the lemons to help build our minds. Anyway,I wanted to take the time to thank you for your thoughts and advice. It's not often we sistahs stick together and reach out. At least not in my experience. So again; ngiyabonga (thank you). Your words of wisdom have blossomed in my heart.
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Post by amirinyahya on Oct 5, 2015 9:23:09 GMT -8
Oh peace Queen! It's no problem at all! I'm so glad you're enjoying the site!! Empress Nyrari |
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Patience
Oct 9, 2015 19:20:25 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by justpeachy on Oct 9, 2015 19:20:25 GMT -8
empress Nyrari, I can understand your frustration, it's like he is sure what he wants & is actively pursuing it and you're like why don't I feel as sure about it? Now you said you've known him for 2 years but have only been involved in a relationship for 4 months. If you give it more time to get to know each other on a relationship, family level then you might be more sure after more situations arise. It's still fairly new so don't worry that your not sure yet.As more opportunities presents itself to solidify your bond as a family unit, your aha moment may come.
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