Black Men with Black Mothers but not black women?

I was involved in a similar discussion a few weeks ago and the general consensus was that a lot black women don't know how to turn down the "strong" and allow her man to be a man. According to them many of us are too strong,  too demanding, have high expectations, and are unwilling to bend.

Of course this cause a huge argument, but hey.... 

I can see all of these things being an issue, being too "strong", and overbearing mothers being an issue for black men. Like if a man has a mother that doesn't necessarily build his self esteem up and self confidence, I could see how that could affect him down the road in his dealings, even casually with other black women.

As a black man, I think that I'm going to date outside of my race. I've only dated black women. The ones I've come in contact with, haven't shown me the love I needed to feel.

So umm....What was missing? If you don't mind me asking. Just curious.....

Can I get your perspective on when you should "teach someone how to love" and when you should accept that people are who they are. I think it's common to want to change someone or you fall in love with their potential which can be a mistake. I feel like the wiser I've become I have to see people for who they are and accept that vs. how they could be. I believe now I would see someone that lacked the qualities i need them to have to love me the way I wanted as more of a red flag than a teachable moment. How can you determine when you should invest in teaching someone who doesn't speak your "love language" naturally?

This is an interesting topic because I'm currently co parenting with a woman within the Asian ethnic group and this question came to me before. Growing up, my mother was drug addicted. Although she made end meet, I was traumatized by the things she did. Until this day, I'm not sure if I'm the only one out of my siblings that witnessed her using or engaging in acts with her temporary guy "friends" but I know for sure it may have taken the largest toll on me..

My father married my mother's cousin. And she was, to me, the wicked witch of the west. Tortured me n favored my brother (as everyone else in my family did). And every other woman in my family bad mouthed me because I had no respect for them. Ever. Even as a baby only 5 yrs I was mocked and told I would be dead before I reached 14. And I knew it sounds insane but it's actually true. All of that, I believe played a huge role in me dating outside if my race. And I would do almost anything to protect my black woman. My own mother, I feel, never protected me and neither did any other woman of color. Who's to say any other black woman would? I may be young but it shouldn't be that hard to find one.. I needed and still long for the protection of my black woman. But, it hasn't happened yet. Can't necessarily say this applies to every black man but it surely applies to me.